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A story about family, expectations, distance and loss. A story about my emotional development as the sister of a disabled brother. From total aversion to found appreciation. My brother Tim is autistic and mentally handicapped, because of that he functions as a child from 4 to 6 years old. I have always felt a distance, I didn’t see him as my brother and didn’t love him. Growing up was hard, all the attention from my parents went to him and as a little girl I was told not to speak while eating. If I did he might have a tantrum, and start pulling my hair. I always had to hold back. Tim fell ill in June 2018, I decided to start photographing him, and felt something change. Is it a bond? Appreciation? Respect? In June 2019, Tim passed away and I am trying to find out what changed between us.